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“How Far is too Far?”

— Posted by Kara (August 12, 2009 at 12:24 am)

“How far is too far?” That’s one of the most commonly asked questions by Christian and Catholic teens.

Recently, I found one of the most interesting answers to this troubling question in the book
Kissed the Girls and Made Them Cry by Lisa Bevere (2002, Thomas Nelson Publishers). This is a book to help women reclaim the femininity this sex-saturated world has stolen from them, and describes how to hold out for God’s best by living a pure lifestyle.

When Mrs. Bevere was going to speak to some of her congregation’s youth-aged girls, she knew that they’d ask her “How far is too far?” She didn’t know what to say–but the Holy Spirit sure did!

“Tell them they can go as far with their boyfriends as they are comfortable doing in front of their fathers. For fathers are the protector and guardian of the virtue for daughters.” (p.5)

This statement stuck in my mind as I read the book. As Mrs. Bevere said, usually the sexual actions that people do are done in the dark, out of sight of others.

This statement could apply to guys too. How far would you go in front of your mothers, or your dates’ mothers?

Would we “make out” in front of our parents? No. Any type of physical contact would most likely be kept as brief as possible.

I also want to add this: if, for some reason, your parents would be permissive of sexual activity outside of marriage, think of how far you would go in front of Jesus or the Blessed Virgin Mary. They are our highest models of purity, and will also help us to maintain God’s standards of chastity, especially if we pray for their help daily and in times of temptation.

I think in order to protect our purity, these thoughts mentioned above should be kept in our mind. It would prevent us from committing serious sins. It would keep us from going “too far.”

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6 Comments on ““How Far is too Far?””

Please Note: Visitor comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Generations for Life or our parent organization, the Pro-Life Action League.

  1. RSD says:

    Wonderful post and oh so true!

    I seem to remember hearing about an advice to young women when choosing/ picking a life-partner so many years ago:

    “You can gauge how you will be treated by your future spouse
    by the way he treats his mother “.

    Comment posted August 12th, 2009 at 11:34 am
  2. Ava says:

    Hear hear!
    Btw, (and yes, I’ll own this is off topic) but I too am an alto!!!
    Or rather, ‘altoid’;)
    Its such fun to contribute to harmony and not always be singing the melody (although that has its advantages too :)

    Comment posted August 12th, 2009 at 10:50 pm
  3. John says:

    The wise advice you quoted from Mrs. Bevere is essentially the same as that which I’d heard a priest/chaplain that I know give several years ago.

    Excellent post, Kara!

    Comment posted August 18th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
  4. Kaitlyn says:

    Woah, so you’re saying we shouldn’t even kiss a guy or give him a long hug, becuase our parents wouldn’t approve? That seems kind of unreasonable.

    Comment posted August 25th, 2009 at 8:26 am
  5. Kara says:

    I didn’t say that. What physical contact is okay is something for you and your parents to decide. Some books suggest keeping kisses and hugs brief. One book went to the extreme of saying not to kiss at all. It depends on your personal convictions. To some people, kissing can lead to sin, but for others it doesn’t.

    Comment posted August 25th, 2009 at 11:52 pm
  6. sunnyday says:

    Okay, this is a great way to answer such a question without beating around the bush and without being vague. Thank you!

    Comment posted August 31st, 2009 at 2:59 am

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