Don’t Give In, Girls!
— Posted by Kara (September 14, 2009 at 11:24 pm)
Sometimes, girls will lose their boyfriends because they will not give in to their sexual advances. They may cave in so that they will not “lose” their boyfriends. But this is a terrible mistake.
An out of print book I own called The Catholic Youth’s Guide to Life and Love (copyright 1960) contains good advice for girls in this plight. The book’s author, the Very Reverend Monsignor George A. Kelly, wrote:
“Boys have always respected the girl who retains her purity, and they always will. They do not want a ‘passion flower,’ no matter what they may say on the spur of the moment. One sure way a girl can lose the respect of boys, and endanger her chance of marrying a respectable young man, is by becoming known as a lass who’s free and easy.” (p.96)
Do you see guys–or even girls, for that matter–really respect a so-called “passion flower”? No. Often, the men and boys ogle her and the girls gossip about her. No young lady should want to be viewed in this light.
Father Kelly points out that girls need to be firm and set standards for guys:
“No boy really wants a girl to submit to his improper advances. He may be weak himself, but he expects higher standards from her. He will multiply his respect if he knows she won’t ‘give in,’ not only to save herself from sin, but also to keep him from it.” (p.96)
And if a boy breaks up with a girl if she won’t give in to him? She’s better off without him, expecially since he doesn’t respect her enough to honor her wishes or defend her honor. No boy–or girl–is worth the weight of a mortal sin or sexual compromise.
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Kaitlyn says:
I definately agree with what you say, it just seems like there are so few guys out there who will respect our purity. I find that so depressing.
Comment posted September 17th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
ernie says:
What if the girl is the one that wants to have sex? is that possible?
Comment posted November 3rd, 2009 at 9:26 pm
Kara says:
Reply to “ernie”:
Yes, that is possible that sometimes girls will try to force guys to have sex. In that case, she does not respect the guy enough to honor his wishes if he wishes to be chaste. I believe that sometimes these girls suffer from lack of self-confidence or else they were sexually-abused and thus feel there is no need to be chaste or that they need to feel power over men in some way. On the other hand, she could just be buying into the culture’s messages about sex. It will vary in different cases.
Kara
Comment posted November 11th, 2009 at 6:43 pm