Archive for the 'Chastity' Category

While doing some reading over the past few days, I came across this passage that inspired me enough to share it. It is taken from a series of private revelations from Christ to “Anne”, a lay apostle, in 2005.

While the messages have not yet received the imprimatur (official approval of the Catholic Church), the bishop of Kilmore - Anne’s diocese - has given permission for their publication on the basis that there is nothing in them that is contrary to faith or morals, and much that is positive and nourishing for the faith. (more…)

“Sex is the secret of every human being, the delivery of it to another human being is a unique self-surrender, a gift of the whole person.” (Following Christ in the World by Anne W. Carroll, Seton Press, Front Royal, Virginia, copyright 2008, p. 103 .)

Perhaps one of the reasons why sex has become devalued in our society is because we have lost sight of one of the facts about sex: it is a total gift of self. It is not just something fun to do on Friday or a recreational activity—it’s serious, because the gift of sex has two purposes: “a unitative purpose (love-giving) and a procreative purpose (life-giving).” (Ibid., p. 94)

Put it another way: if you give someone you love a gift, do you usually want to give them a (more…)

I was privileged to give a series of talks on Saturday at the Diocese of Brownsville’s Youth Chastity and Pro-Life Conference held at St. Joan of Arc Parish in Weslaco, Texas.

The Diocese’s Pro-Life Apostolate organized the event, which attracted a crowd of over 300 teens, along with dozens of college students, young adults, and parents. As I’m primarily accustomed to speaking in classrooms or at pro-life club meetings, this was the largest group I’d ever spoken to!

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If you asked 100 people at random if they believed abstinence education is effective, most of them would probably say no.

Most would probably say that teaching abstinence is “unrealistic”, that it doesn’t work, and that schools should instead be teaching so-called “comprehensive” sex education.

A big part of the reason why so many people believe abstinence education is ineffective is because its opponents — which include Planned Parenthood, NARAL, NOW, and other major pro-abortion groups — have relentlessly tub-thumping for years trying to convince people that it is so, such that it’s now one of those things that “everybody knows”.

And most mainstream media outlets have gone along with getting this message out there.

So ingrained in popular consciousness is this idea that when the Washington Post reported on a “landmark” study released Monday that demonstrated remarkable comparative effectiveness of abstinence education vs. so-called “comprehensive” sex education, they couldn’t bring themselves to fully admit what the research showed.

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Sex 180: the next revolution by Chip Ingram and Tim Walker will equip us to be modern-day revolutionaries to change the way our culture views sex. With a modern style, the book catches your interest right away, resulting in a compelling book that led me to renew it from the library at least 7 times. I’ll review some of the basic ideas of the book.

How can we start a revolution though…aren’t we just young adults trying to make sense of our lives, not to mention love? The authors say that we don’t have to have fantastic speaking skills or a mesmerizing personality because the revolution will start in our hearts and lives before it moves outward: “You just have to believe what God says about sex and live out what you’re talking about.” (p. 41) As they put it, it is a revolution of one that begins in us first before moving outward.

The authors describe how (more…)

Sometimes, girls will lose their boyfriends because they will not give in to their sexual advances. They may cave in so that they will not “lose” their boyfriends. But this is a terrible mistake.

An out of print book I own called The Catholic Youth’s Guide to Life and Love (copyright 1960) contains good advice for girls in this plight. The book’s author, the Very Reverend Monsignor George A. Kelly, wrote:

“Boys have always respected the girl who retains her purity, and they always will. They do not want a ‘passion flower,’ no matter what they may say on the spur of the moment. One sure way a girl can lose the respect of boys, and endanger her chance of marrying a respectable young man, is by becoming known as a lass who’s free and easy.” (p.96)

Do you see guys–or even girls, for that matter–really respect a so-called “passion flower”? No. Often, the men and boys ogle her and the girls gossip about her. No young lady should want to be viewed in this light.

Father Kelly points out that girls need to be firm and set standards for guys:

“No boy really wants a girl to submit to his improper advances. He may be weak himself, but he expects higher standards from her. He will multiply his respect if he knows she won’t ‘give in,’ not only to save herself from sin, but also to keep him from it.” (p.96)

And if a boy breaks up with a girl if she won’t give in to him? She’s better off without him, expecially since he doesn’t respect her enough to honor her wishes or defend her honor. No boy–or girl–is worth the weight of a mortal sin or sexual compromise.

“How far is too far?” That’s one of the most commonly asked questions by Christian and Catholic teens.

Recently, I found one of the most interesting answers to this troubling question in the book
Kissed the Girls and Made Them Cry by Lisa Bevere (2002, Thomas Nelson Publishers). This is a book to help women reclaim the femininity this sex-saturated world has stolen from them, and describes how to hold out for God’s best by living a pure lifestyle.

When Mrs. Bevere was going to speak to some of her congregation’s youth-aged girls, she knew that they’d ask her “How far is too far?” She didn’t know what to say–but the Holy Spirit sure did!

“Tell them they can go as far with their boyfriends as they are comfortable doing in front of their fathers. For fathers are the protector and guardian of the virtue for daughters.” (p.5)

This statement stuck in my mind as I read the book. As Mrs. Bevere said, usually the sexual actions that people do are done in the dark, out of sight of others.

This statement could apply to guys too. How far would you go in front of your mothers, or your dates’ mothers?

Would we “make out” in front of our parents? No. Any type of physical contact would most likely be kept as brief as possible.

I also want to add this: if, for some reason, your parents would be permissive of sexual activity outside of marriage, think of how far you would go in front of Jesus or the Blessed Virgin Mary. They are our highest models of purity, and will also help us to maintain God’s standards of chastity, especially if we pray for their help daily and in times of temptation.

I think in order to protect our purity, these thoughts mentioned above should be kept in our mind. It would prevent us from committing serious sins. It would keep us from going “too far.”

**Warning: This post includes graphic language from a Planned Parenthood website.**

For years, pro-lifers have been warning about the dangers of teenwire.com, Planned Parenthood’s website for teens. (Pro-life blogger Dawn Eden wrote one of the best articles on why Teenwire is so bad in the Christian magazine Touchstone a few years back.)

But now, Teenwire is no longer Teenwire.

It’s now Teen Talk, according to teenwire.com’s Facebook page:

Basically: new look, same content.

But no matter how “fancy-pants” Planned Parenthood wants to dress it up, the advice it gives is never in the best interests of teens’ physical health (not to mention spiritual health).

Use your own good judgment to decide if you want to check out Teen Talk, and definitely don’t watch any of the videos if little kids are around. (more…)

If you asked 100 people at random if they believed abstinence education is effective, most of them would probably say no.

Most would probably say that teaching abstinence is “unrealistic”, that it doesn’t work, and that schools should instead be teaching so-called “comprehensive” sex education.

A big part of the reason why so many people believe abstinence education is ineffective is because its opponents — which include Planned Parenthood, NARAL, NOW, and other major pro-abortion groups — have done quite a job of convincing people that this is so.

And most mainstream media outlets have gone along with getting this message out there. That’s why it’s not uncommon in a story dealing with sex education to see the “failure” of abstinence education reported as an accomplished fact.

This is what went through my head recently as I read a Chicago Tribune article about the ongoing debate over sex education programs in the state of Illinois.

At one point, the article referred to “a federal report in 2007 [which] found that abstinence programs had little effect on changing teen behavior”. This appeared in the context of a paragraph that otherwise contained statistics.

Clearly, the reporter who wrote the story was presenting it as a fact that abstinence education is proven to be ineffective.

But is it? (more…)

Chastity isn’t just for single people.

It’s not just for young people.

It’s for everyone.

Or, as our friend Bryan Kemper wrote on his blog (and on a T-shirt) earlier this year, Chastity Is For Lovers — and who among us does not love?

Last week I came across a page on a UK site that is looking for people — men and women, young and old, married and unmarried — to pledge to live chastely. This is a great thing to do any time, but especially this week, which is Pornography Awareness Week.

I signed it. Will you?

Last week-end, John and I led an awesome teen conference in Lincoln, Nebraska.  Over 150 teens turned out to show their support for the unborn and learn what they could do to change hearts and minds and further educate themselves on the abortion issue.  The talks included defending the pro-life position, how to use the GFL Curriculum and chastity.  The conference was hosted at Pius X High School, where they have an extremely active pro-life club.

Here are some of the comments from the teens who attended.  We hope this will inspire you to attend another conference run by GFL coming up in January - TeenSpeak 2009!

“I learned a lot being here. It changed my thinking on what abortion really is and it made me think of how I can help others to see what we see.”

“I am glad I came. I think the pro-life message is important for today’s young people to support because we are the future and change will only occur if we are willing to stand up for what we believe.”

“The conference was inspirational and motivational! It made me want to go out and make a difference!”

“Very informative and motivating! I love babies!”

“I thought it was really good. I didn’t know what to expect, but it was really well done, appealing, and getting to the point.”

“You guys are awesome and I’m glad there’s people who are trying to help every teen out in the fight for life.”

“I thought it was very informative and inspired me to get more involved.”

“Very good! Thank you so much! I’ve been very pro-life my entire life but I learned so much about WHY I am today.”

“It was really informative, a great way to meet kids with the same values.”

“I learned a lot and enjoyed seeing my peers believe in the same things.”

“I thought it was good to learn how I can defend what I believe. It also really stuck out to me when the video said we need to educate ourselves — showed me how much more responsible I need to become.”

“I loved it soooo much and am going to argue with my pro-choice teacher about everything.”

You can see pictures from the conference here.

A couple days ago I was interviewed by a local TV station for a story dealing with teen pregnancy and the debate over abstinence education vs. so-called comprehensive sex education.

I can’t seem to link directly to the story, but you can watch it by going here. Then, in the search field below the video screen, type in “teen pregnancy on the rise”, and it should be the first result.

Overall, I think, the story was presented about as fairly as we could hope for.

Interestingly, the interviewee representing the “other” side of the issue, Soo Ji Min, works for the Illinois Caucus of Adolescent Health (ICAH).

As I’ve mentioned here previously on the GFL blog, two years ago ICAH held its (adults-only) annual fundraiser at the Playboy offices. Last year, their (adults-only) fundraiser featured a stripper. (more…)

Recently there was this news article about some teenage girls at Gloucester High School in Massachucetts who supposedly made a “pact” to get pregnant together!

One article about this can be read here. I have not heard about anything like this before, and am surprised. I wondered what made them do this.

It’s true that there have been quite a few actresses and singers who have been having babies; perhaps the girls wanted to have babies too! I was thinking that it is beneficial to the pro-life movement to have all these actresses being so happy about their babies. But I didn’t suspect that something like this “pregnancy pact” would happen! (more…)

In last Sunday’s New York Times magazine, there’s an interesting feature story on a new movement among students on Ivy League university campuses to embrace chastity. It highlights in particular an abstinence club at Harvard called True Love Revolution.

Now, not at all surprisingly, the story has some flaws.

At one point, for example, the author, Randall Patterson, mentions the 2004 Waxman Report, which, he states, “found that 11 of 13 abstinence curriculums that his government-reform committee examined were rife with scientific errors and false and misleading information about the risks of sexual activity”.

He says nothing further about the Waxman Report—and he certainly doesn’t refer to its thorough critiques, which show that the Waxman Report itself is full of errors and false and misleading information.

On the whole, though, the article is quite good, and portrays the courageous students who are boldly proclaiming the value of chastity in a favorable light.

The article focuses a great deal on one member of True Love Revolution, Janie Fredell, who has a gift for articulating a range of arguments for why living chastely is a common sense lifestyle choice:

“It’s an odd thing to see one’s lifestyle essentially attacked in The Crimson,” Fredell said. She began to feel a need to stand up for her beliefs, and what she believed in more than anything at Harvard was the value of not having premarital sex. In an essay she wrote for The Crimson, she asserted that “virginity is extremely alluring,” though its “mysterious allure . . . is not rooted in an image of innocence and purity, but rather in the notion of strength.” As she told me later, “It takes a strong woman to be abstinent, and that’s the sort of woman I want to be.”

During the club’s first year, they made a lot of enemies: (more…)

It seems everyone is all about going “green” these days ever since Al Gore won the Nobel Peace Prize. I’m all into taking care of the environment. I recycle and other such things. After all, we are called by God to be good stewards of the earth. I even wrote a post about it a few years ago.

So it’s no surprise that Seventeen has jumped on the band wagon as well. Throughout the magazine, at the bottom of selected pages, there are tips on how you can go “green”. But here’s one I’m not sure is so prudent (and probably doesn’t really save that much energy anyway). Let me know what you think:

“Save electricity - turn out the lights and have a candle light dinner with your boyfriend!”